Nick Hawtin

Age: 18

Born: Crawley

Position: Striker

Nickname: Holmesy

Team: Chelsea

Strengths: Running with the ball

Weaknesses: Trying to do too much

Plays a bit like: Joe Cole

Career Highlights: Palace

Best player played with: My brother - the Jew

Joker @ the club: My brother - the Jew

Tunes: Dizzee Rascal

Flicks: Titanic

Car: N/A

Chicks: Tall, busty and blonde

Describe in Five words: Match winner on my day

Longest in the showers: I get the drinks in